Male Voice: So Mr. Happy, how are things going today?
High-Pitched Voice: Oh, pretty good. How about you?
MV: Hey, pretty good, thanks for asking.
HPV: (humming sounds) So, what did you think of that little waitress down at the Waffle House this morning?
MV: Wow! She was a real cutie.
HPV: Yeah, she was veerrrrryyy pretty…
MV: She certainly was. I was just thinkin’ about her.
HPV: I sensed that you were.
MV: Well, you know, she was very pretty.
HPV: I know how you love uniforms.
MV: Uniforms? She was wearing a Waffle House outfit.
HPV: But wouldn’t she look nice in a French maid’s outfit?
MV: Oh, my. Yes she would wouldn’t she?
HPV: (voice getting a little lower) She really would.
MV: I see you’re giving that some thought…
HPV: Yes. Yes I am…
MV: Hey… just what do you think you’re doing?
HPV: (voice lower still) That waitress was being extra special nice to us.
MV: What? I thought she was just doing her j…
HPV: (voice lower than MV) She was flirting with us, you know it’s true.
MV: What are you doing?!
HPV: (voice low and gravelly) She wanted us! You could tell, couldn’t you?!
MV: Down, dammit! You are not starting this here!
(Sound of feet shuffling across the floor)
HPV: (voice lower still) You knew it! She was leaning over and you wouldn’t even look!
MV: I’m not like you! I respect wom…
HPV: (Voice almost demon-possessed) She was there to take, you wimp! I am sick and tired of you passing chances like this by…
MV: That’s enough!
HPV: It’s never enough! Never! I want…
MV: No! You will not do this again! I’ll stop you this time, I swear!
HPV: You’ll never stop m… (voice choked-off)
MV: That’s it! I’m gonna strangle you, you despicable creature.
HPV: (Choking and coughing sounds) Aggghhhh, stop! (more choking and coughing sounds)
MV: This will fix you!
HPV: You’re killing me! Stop!
MV: Not unless you behave! I’ve had it with you!
HPV: (still choking sounds interspersed with gasping words) I’ll stop… I’ll stop.
MV: For good?
HPV: (ragged voice) Yes, yes! For good
MV: Promise?
HPV: I will! I promise!
MV: Okay.
HPV: (choking, coughing sounds getting better)
MV: You okay?
HPV: Yeah, I think so.
MV: I really hated doing that but you gotta learn, you know.
HPV: Yeah, yeah I know
MV: Jeez, you’re kinda, I dunno, puffy…
HPV: I’ll be okay.
MV: Really? You need a hand?
HPV: No, I’m… well maybe
MV: Here you go… is that better?
HPV: Oh, yeah, that’s better…
MV: I thought so.
HPV: Oh, yeah. That’s really good. Oh yeah (voice getting a little deeper)
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